“My name is Mathew and I’m a slicer.” “Hello Mathew.” The group hollers out. “I’ve been a slicer for a long time now, a long time. No matter how hard I’ve tried and no matter what I’ve done to correct it, it just won’t go away. It has become my norm. The aim left end up in the right rough tee shot that has wrecked me since I took up the game”
“I can remember all the way back to the first time I hit a golf ball that it didn’t slice. That was an awesome golf shot. It’s what makes you go back. It was the par four #5 at Desert Rose Golf Course, a nice hole that has a dog leg to the right. Well it used to be # 5 it’s #14 now, they swapped out the front and back years ago, but anyway. I laid into a Driver and absolutely crushed it. (Applause from the group) Straight as a rock, beautiful height, great distance, a shot for the ages, just one problem. Horrible aim. You see I’m a slicer. (Cheers from the crowd) I don’t aim for the fairway, no, that’s for those damn straight hitters or even worse, someone who can fade a shot on purpose. Bastards! I look at a fairway in a different way than my competitor’s who hit it straight do. I see what’s left of the fairway. I aim for houses and walls and trees and deserts that don’t normally come into play for those straight guys and gals. Well unless, like this situation, I actually hit the ball where I was aimed. HA HA HA (laughter from the group) that rarely happens. “
“We slicers are a common group of people. So common in fact that they build golf courses to suit us. Cart path on the right on the majority of courses. Offset clubs, training aids, books, DVD’s, magazines, lessons, TV Shows, Google ads, web-sites you name it, if you slice someone has a cure for you.We are a common group, and it has become normal to sit in this room week after week and feel sorry for ourselves and accept that 1/18 fairways is the norm.Well, it’s NOT!”
“Tonight I stand before you for the last time. My days as a slicer are OVER! I have seen the light and the errors of my ways. For too long I’ve sat amongst you all and wallowed in self pity for our lack of ability to hit a ball straight. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed our time and I have loved your stories. But, it has to end, and tonight, for me, it does. Our member numbers continue to grow every week more players, more tales of missed fairways, lost balls and damaged houses. It has to stop!! Tonight, I’m drawing a line in the sand (pun intended) I will do whatever it takes to rid myself of this horrible affliction. I will work my ass off on the range to correct this deficiency. I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I HIT FAIRWAYS ON A REGULAR BASIS!So I say goodbye to you all. My time with you was memorable and will never be forgotten, and as much as I would love to say that I will miss you, it would just be lie. See YA!”
That was my little farewell to an uneducated, second guessing, and lack luster approach to the game of golf that I have been involved in since I could remember. Not that I would ever have the guts to stand up in front of a support group for slicers and say all that, but in my mind, that’s how it would play out. I’ve taken a whole new approach to the driving range. I’m going to try and work on certain things that are problems in my game and not just rifle through a bucket. I’m going to start taking my video camera and see if I can find some problems that I can work on. Most of all I’m going to do it. I will correct my swing. I don’t care if it takes until I’m in my Eighties. My slice will be abolished!
113 is killing me!