Thank you for hanging in with me over this stretch of my life. A break was needed, and now I’m ready to get back at it!
I’ve been going through a rough stretch over the last couple of months. I’ve had some incredible highs and some depressing lows, and that has resulted in me taking a little break from dedicating time to this site.
While my golf game has been progressing nicely, my personal life, mainly my health, has taken a different path. A little over 12 years ago I suffered through a severe (at least it was to me) case of anxiety that incredibly disrupted my life. The medication I was prescribed I hated, and after several months I decided it wasn’t the right choice for me, and in a silly decision, I turned to alcohol to help me get through the nights and fight off the anxiety attacks.
I’m not sure what it was that opened my eyes to the fact I was about to throw away everything I had work so hard to achieve up until that point in my life, but I’m thankful it took place. After picking myself up from the lowest of lows in my life I meet my wife just weeks later, and since then I’ve only dealt with my anxiety issues sparingly and at most, they have been moderate compared to the nightmares of years past.
Anxiety is not fun, trust me.
It’s been something I’ve been able to maintain and handle for the past ten years. Also, with little to no disruption in my life. Regretfully this took a turn over the last couple of months. My capacity to maintain a positive outlook on my anxiety and suppress the panic attacks has gotten to a point where I’ve started to lose the ability to function on a day to day basis.
Those who are affected by anxiety will completely understand how difficult it is for me to explain what’s been happening. And, how crazy it is to sit down at my computer and want to talk about the fact I shot 81, yes 81, on back to back occasions. But, I would instead like to grab my monitor and smash it into the wall. Aggressive, I know, but I’d choose that versus typing out my greatest rounds of golf played to date.
Next thing I know I look and it’s been several months since I’ve done anything here. Other than updating my stats and reading some of my old posts. Man, I was not the best at this when I started.
This latest bout of anxiety has been unlike anything I have ever experienced
And, unfortunately, has me beyond perplexed. Not being able to work my way through the panic attacks and not being able to talk about golf has been devastating to me. In ways, I can’t express.
I’ve reached out to some new doctors, and together we have started to try and get it under control so I can get my head back into my life and hopefully get things back to normal, or at least get me to a level where I can function without wanting to smash everything in sight! Yeah, I like to throw things, it’s always been a good way for me to release my pent-up frustrations. Remarkable though I have yet to throw a golf club in my entire career. And, I plan on keeping it that way.
I want to say thanks to all of you who have been returning and checking out the site. I apologize my content of late has been quite lackluster but I promise you that’s going to change. As I get this issue under control, I fully intend to get back to writing. It’s killing me to talk about how much my game has improved over the summer. And, I cannot wait to share those rounds with all of you!
Keep strong. I enjoy reading your updates and the progress you are making in your golf but your health and family are the most important things.
Thanks Chris! I couldn’t agree with you more!!